


safe is never sound.

by vaultfox



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Angst, Description of Injuries, F/M, Figuring out their feelings along the way, Hurt/Comfort, I take artistic liberties with how big snowspeeders are, Lots of it, M/M, and with Life Day, pov switching, thinking the other is dead, this was a very different fic for me idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-22 06:58:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13161684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vaultfox/pseuds/vaultfox
Summary: This is my prompt fill for TheKearlyn for the Rebelcaptain Secret Santa! I know it's the "rebelcaptain" secret santa (and the core drive of thisisrebelcaptain), but I wanted to do something a little different when I found out that they enjoyed the OT3 (Bodhi/Jyn/Cassian) and take a jab at writing the three of them. I definitely think you can read the OT3 as somewhat platonic if you wanted to, since this is early on in the three of them dealing with their feelings, but that's just me. They're just bein' bros but they could bemorethan bros too, ya know???Their prompt: Character A thought character B was dead and now learns that they aren't and/or is reunited with them, from either side of this moment.





	safe is never sound.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kearlyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kearlyn/gifts).



> Cassian is worried about the patrol Jyn and Bodhi are asked to take up on Hoth, the week before Life Day, but he can't seem to say what he wants to yet because he's not exactly sure what "they" are yet.

 "I wanna say it was called, The Festival of Life?" Jyn said between mouthfuls of protein paste. "I only celebrated it a few times but, the last year we did I remember papa got me my very own datapad. Imperial issue, of course, but it was my favorite."

The idea of an eight year old Jyn mashing at a data-pad spread warmth through his chest. He brought a mug of caf to his lips, shielding his grin. "Oh? What gifts before then?"

"Handmade toys, sometimes rocks. Don't get me wrong, I loved the stones my mama picked out but ... the datapad, that was, it was---" she swallowed hard, her eyes staring intently on the bowl of paste, "--it was something."

He watched her push the paste around with her spoon, her other hand clutching the bowl a bit tighter. A second later and she was laughing with Bodhi, like the moment hadn't happened. But he could see it, always could, the way her eyes went slightly dimmer and the walls came hurdling upwards. Each bit of her past she let slip felt like a step backwards, the way she seemed to build her walls back up even thicker.

"Oh, well," he coughed, placing his mug back onto the table. "That was thoughtful."

He couldn't look up, but it didn't matter much because neither could she.

"Yeah, it was."

He drew in a measured breath, clutching both sides of his mug; he'd pushed too far, which had become somewhat of a routine with Jyn. Since Scarif they'd grown closer, sure, but hadn't really talked much about their shared pasts. They simply shared quiet nights in the hangar bay when one or the other couldn't sleep, provide a shoulder to cry or pretend they weren't crying on, and as of late, sharing the warmth of his bed together, though almost always wordlessly. He figured she must think he knew everything on her already, having had to scout information about her months before she was broken out of Wobani.

But that wasn't the case and he yearned for more, always tip-toeing the line of how much and too much information she'd relinquish to him.

Bodhi was different though, always wanting to chat or talk about the smallest of things, even if it took him a bit to finally get his point across. They'd had their fair share of sleepless nights in the hangar bay as well, sometimes even meeting up with Jyn, though the conversation was always surprisingly carried by Bodhi. They were a unique little thing, the three of them. He wasn't quite sure _what_ they were, but it was better to just let that part go for now.

As the conversation between Bodhi and Jyn grew more stilted with laughter, Cassian drowned it out with his own childhood, how he hadn't celebrated anything since he was six, too young to remember exactly what it had been called. But he'd remembered the atmosphere, the family who crowded their all-too-small kitchen to produce some of the best meals he'd ever had. Late night walks to watch the colors dancing in the night sky. Some years he was even lucky enough to receive gifts. The celebration reminded him of what base command was currently throwing together.

Life Day, they called it. He hadn't heard of it before Leia explained it's importance to Chewie (and the rest of his family, of which she gladly cantered on about a bit longer than necessary). To be fair, the celebration sounded like just what the base needed, a needed distraction from the monotony of war, and especially, after the panicked evacuation from Yavin to Hoth just a month prior.

It was only in a weeks time, though no one would be able to tell by the lack of decorations around the base. Leia was working on it, she had assured him. Jyn and Bodhi were also scheduled for a last minute, lengthy patrol of the outer reaches, setting out that night. There had barely been enough time to discuss the briefing, let alone any sort of gift-swapping or party planning. That didn't mean he still hadn't at least considered, briefly, what Jyn and Bodhi might have wanted as gifts. In theory. If they even wanted to celebrate such a thing, which he would have been fine with either way.

Whatever they wanted.

"What about you, Cassian?"

It was Bodhi, jarring him from his thoughts with a smile."Hm?"

"What do you want for Life Day?"

"I, uh ---," Jyn was eyeing him, a small smile hidden behind her palm. She wants to celebrate this?

"And don't say something nauseating, like _galactic peace_ ..." Bodhi and she shared a high-five, what had he missed?

At a loss, he simply shook his head. "I hadn't thought about it, you don't-- just, don't worry about me, okay?"

Bodhi wouldn't let it go. "Come on, there has to be something."

"No, really it's okay." he put on his best half-smile, his eyes flicking from the table to Jyn's gaze, before settling on a spot far behind her. "Please, don't go out of your way for me."

"But we---"

"Please Jyn, just ... stay out of trouble, that's all I ask," he moved to stand, collecting their bowls and mugs onto his tray. "You too, Bodhi."

When they were silent still, he added, "Meet you two in the hangar later, before you're off?"

The pair shared a confused glance, before nodding their heads.

Cassian had been so concerned with what to get them, if they'd even wanted anything _at all_ , that it never crossed his mind they'd want to do the same for him.

Why did that _... scare him?_

* * *

Bodhi carried the last of his supplies into the snowspeeder cockpit, finding Jyn cleaning her blaster in the co-pilot's seat.

"Is something up with Cassian? He got uh, a bit ... weird at lunch," he said to her.

Jyn didn't look up from her blaster. "Dunno, but he's been like that a lot lately."

Bodhi huffed in agreement before they were interrupted by the clanging of metal footsteps outside the speeder, _Kaytoo._

"You two have about five minutes until you're to set out, and you haven't yet said goodbye to Cassian," there was a hushed sound and a muddled clang, before the two made their way out of the craft.

Cassian stood beside Kaytoo, arms crossed and face buried in the fur of his parka, shielding a look that looked something like embarrassment.  Kaytoo whirred and almost began speaking again before Cassian interrupted, "Just uh, wanted to see you off."

Jyn gave him a quick glance before shoving her own hands into her pockets. "Yeah, well, we'll be back soon. It's just a quick patrol."

"No it's ---," he bit back, "It's a few days."

"A week," Bodhi added, then stepped behind Jyn as Cassian's eyes seemed to bore through his own.

"Yeah, a week. That's not quick."

Jyn bridged the gap between them and seized his arm. "Yeah, just as long as you were gone during the evac."

Cassian breathed through his nose, trying to push back the _where are they's_ and _what if they're dead's_ that had kept him awake at night during that week, the one where he hadn't known if they were on the shuttle shot down or the cruiser that was first to Hoth. It had been the longest week of his life, cut off from communications from the newly formed base.

And this was the first week they'd be out of his sight since then, and probably far from the last, that was --- if they came back.

"We'll be alright, I promise. Just a perimeter check, scanning for any Imperial activity. We won't even be getting out of the speeder."

She let go of his arm but didn't retreat.

"I know," because he did, he'd read the debrief and studied it a hundred times over. So why was this _so hard?_

"Every night, we'll comm, okay? Or we'll try. You know, the storms and all."

"Yeah, I know."

"Good. Now, don't spend the entire time buried in your work, or waiting up for us," she looked up at him and smiled, the kind meant to reassure. "Alright?"

Cassian could only nod, they both knew he'd be doing exactly that until they were back right where they were standing. As Jyn and Bodhi turned back up the ramp, he turned to the droid at his side and watched as the hatch slowly slid upwards, the two making their way into the cockpit before smiling and waving as the sped away.

* * *

Days on base revolved around two things for Cassian; work, and the intermittent messages he'd receive from Jyn and Bodhi, though mostly Jyn.

[Erso 19:47] Settling in for the night, nothing unusual around the perimeter so that's good.

[Andor 19:48] Yeah, that is. How's Bodhi?

[Erso: 19:50] Good, getting used to flying the little stuff. He says hi.

[Andor: 19:52] Hi Bodhi. Anyways, I won't keep you. Get some sleep

[Erso: 19:53] You too.

His thumbs hovered a moment over the datapad with the words he couldn't type, _be safe_. But _they were_ , she'd just said that. He threw the datapad to the side and sighed.

* * *

Chirrut and Baze met him for dinner the next night, a hot mug of tea pushed into his hands when he sat down.

"Captain, good to see you." Baze groaned at his partner's choice of words, slurping at his own cup of tea.

"Yes, glad you could make it."

Cassian padded the pocket where his comm sat, thinking it'd gone off. When he realized it hadn't, he replied, "Yeah, it's been some time. How have you both been holding up?"

He pushed the food on his tray around, occasionally lifting his head up to meet the Guardian's eyes, before staring off behind them briefly when he felt a twinge at his chest. The comm vibrating in quick succession. He wrestled it out, eyes wide and heart hammering when he came across multiple messages, all from Bodhi.

[Rook: 16:45] Found some ruins a bit further out, Jyn wants to investigate.

[Rook: 16:46] OK, she was right, already notified the Princess of it's location.

[Rook: 16:47] Will let you know when we get there.

His licked his lips and fought against the tremble of his thumbs, before typing---

[Andor 16:49] Okay.

It wasn't what he'd wanted to type, _again_ , but he couldn't. They were fine, as long as they were comm'ing him, they were fine. He looked up to find Chirrut smiling, with Baze ready to barrage him with an onslaught of questions.

Thankfully, neither acknowledged his small outburst.

"So, Captain. Are you getting Jyn and Bodhi anything for Life Day?"

* * *

[Rook: 18:45] Found some Imperial Tech down here.

[Rook: 18:50] Looks likes mostly comms, some deactivated droids.

[Rook: 18:51] Asked Base if we should destroy, or bring back as reconnaissance.

[Rook: 18:55] Going to hole up in the ship for the night, Jyn's already fast asleep.

His comm buzzed from across the room, vibrating precariously close to the edge of his nightstand. Chirrut and Baze eyed him, held him back, and continued to support him as he looped some spare yarn onto the thick needle, the one Baze had whittled from a piece of old scrap wood. It had been three days since their dinner, where Baze had suggested they teach the Captain how to knit.

"Good," Baze stood up from beside Cassian to refill his mug of tea. "You'll have full scarves by the time those two get back."

"Thanks," Cassian replied. In truth, knitting had taken a bit to get used to, his callouses weren't exactly helpful in getting the correct form down. But it helped, with a lot of things. When he couldn't stand being in the communications room with Leia any longer, he'd take to knitting a few rows in-between, finding the repetitive motion calming. It also helped that the Guardians wanted to oversee his progress, though he figured they were staying by his side for more than that.

By the time they had left, well into the night, Cassian settled down under the covers to respond to their messages.

[Rook: 22:30] Change of plans, storm woke us up, gonna try and stay ahead of it. Be back tonight.

His head spun to the chrono on his nightstand, seeing the time flashing ---

23:12.

This time, he hammered the reply he'd wanted to without thinking ---

[Andor: 23:13] Will be in the hangar ASAP. be safe.

He threw on his parka and jammed the comm into his pocket, racing to the hangar like the walls were falling in around him.

* * *

Bodhi's chrono read 01:15, or, at least, he thought that's what it read.

His head was swimming, lids heavy as he tried to pry them open against the battering wind.

He opened them again to see nothing but blinding white, snow swirling and howling above him. No ship in sight.

To his left, nothing. He tried wriggling his arm to make sure it still worked, it did, but barely. When he brought it to his forehead, his glove came back tinted crimson.

He could feel the snow seeping into his parka, his fatigues, his boots.

To his right, nothing. And that ... that terrified him more than anything. There shouldn't be nothing, Jyn was next to him, and now she wasn't ---

It was all too much, the blinding white sky was growing brighter, but he fought against it; the black edges of his vision nearly winning out.

He could do it, it was just one breath. The comm was right there, he could still move his arm.

He depressed the button, hoping against hope that someone could hear him. His fingers burned.

_"Help."_

* * *

Cassian had been pacing the hangar since before midnight, annoying the other pilot recruits who just wanted to get a bit of maintenance done in peace. At some point he noticed how frequently he'd check his comm's (nearly every-half second) and Kaytoo demanded that he return to his quarters, at least to fetch the knitting he'd been working on earlier. His nervous energy had to be placed somewhere.

By the time he returned to the crate by the hangar bay doors, Leia approached him, eyes drawn and sunken.

"Cassian, it's Bodhi."

* * *

When Jyn woke she quickly wished she hadn't. The static buzzing through her vision was deafening, and all she could see, when she focused on seeing, was white.

Her thoughts went black and she was suddenly shivering, sending persistent shooting pains up and down her spine. _Bodhi, where was Bodhi?_   Her eyes trailed to the left and there was nothing, at least nothing through the haze of reality and what her brain was conjuring up. She strained, though, left and forward, to the glass of their viewport. There was a break through the shields, and blood rimming it. She still couldn't _see_ anything, where the _fuck_ was Bodhi?

She clicked through her comm, getting nothing but static.

_Come on, come on ..._

When she tried to move, to adjust herself within the crushed remains of their snowspeeder, her breath grew short and thin.

She couldn't move. She couldn't move, and her leg was caught and the air left in the cabin was suddenly too thin and the thought of that spreading through her body made her try to escape, try clawing in terror at the prison her snowspeeder had become, but was only successful in plunging herself back into darkness.

* * *

"Bodhi," Cassian huffed, his gloved hands trying to spread warmth through his windburnt cheeks. "Bodhi, _kriff_ , Bodhi _wake up_."

He'd only found Bodhi, lying face-up in the snow bank, his skin chapped and frigid. Kaytoo was the one to set-up the emergency shelter, Cassian too overwhelmed with fear that he'd been too late.

There were too many layers of damp clothing to remove, too many and not enough to replace them with. So he took off Bodhi's jacket and boots. When he did, he felt him tremble a bit, then into a full-on shiver. That was a good sign.

Cassian removed his socks and threw them in a pile with his parka, pulling an emergency blanket up and over Bodhi's quaking form. He tried to steady him with both hands before giving up and going under the covers beside him, pulling the pilot close and pulling his park over the two of them. He could hear Kaytoo's drone from outside the shelter.

"There are no other heat sources surrounding us, Cassian."

His heart dropped, _Jyn_.

She had to be around, she had to have survived. Bodhi did, if they could only get to her ---

"Keep checking," he bit back to Kaytoo through the fabric. "Comm Echo Base if you have to."

Cassian turned back to Bodhi, whispering into his shoulder blades, "Come on, _come on_..."

Bodhi's eyes opened into slits, squinting at the orange-filtered world surrounding him.

"Wh--wh," he sputtered, and Cassian tugged him closer.

"It's okay, it's okay ... it's me, it's Cassian," he felt Bodhi let out a breath, before the shivering resumed, a good sign. "You're alright, we found you a bit ago in the snow."

"Bu---, but--," Cassian continued to shush him, reaching behind him to grab a canteen.

"Shhh, it's okay. Here, water," Bodhi simply shook his head and stared up at Cassian, his eyes wide and terrified.

"J---, J--, Jyn-n-n-n?," he struggled to swallow, and Cassian struggled to keep his face blank, searching his frantic thoughts for a reply.

"Kaytoo's looking," he decided on, "Got a shuttle coming to get you out of here, too. We'll ---"

Bodhi still couldn't focus, "Bu---, but Jyn-n-n ... I ... I don't---"

"It's okay, Bodhi. You let me worry about her," he stumbled, beating back the panic rising in his chest. "... she can't be far, right?"

He felt like he was tricking them both into hoping she was alive.

* * *

The medi-evac sped off with Bodhi inside, after Cassian was assured he would be alright, and after Bodhi was assured they would find Jyn.

_No matter what._

He turned to Kaytoo who was placing the collapsed shelter into their tauntaun's pack, "We have to keep looking."

"Cassian, there are no certifiable heat sources within 10 clicks of where we're standing, the chances of---"

"I don't _care_ , we have to keep looking---"

"Then why did you bother with asking for my calculations?"

"Kay, just ---- come on, let's go," he swung himself up onto his tauntaun. "Did Echo get back to you with any coordinates?"

"Only their last check-in, a cave."

"Give them to me, _let's go_."

* * *

It wasn't the cave they happened upon first, rather, the mangled wreckage of a snowspeeder --- still smoking faintly with it's nose buried almost completely in the snow bank.

Kay had to wrangle his tauntaun back as Cassian jumped from it's back, half-stumbling towards the crumpled pile of durasteel.

 _"Jyn!"_ he cried, scraping helplessly at the mounds of snow covering the viewport. "Jyn, answer me!"

When he got down to the barrier where glass met snow, he cried even louder. "Jyn!"

Her head lay dormant on the opposite side of the glass, her eyes closed as if she was only sleeping. His eyes cast about her frantically, taking in every little scrape and trickle of blood that emerged from behind her frazzled hair, but what he couldn't come to grips with the most was that she wasn't moving.

Kay smashed the glass above her as Cassian gasped, red rimming his bottom lashes as he fought back the warmth brewing there.

Cassian tugged at her arms lightly, just below her shoulders, then pressed two fingers to her neck.

He tried to ignore how her head lolled against them, how he couldn't feel a ghost of a throb against his gloved fingers. He bit his glove off, cast it aside and pressed his fingers firm to her neck and held his breath. He might have even prayed.

Still, nothing.

He was too late.

"No, no no no ... not ... Jyn, no," he couldn't see, couldn't breathe.

She died alone, trapped; alone.

He was _too late._

"Come on, Jyn ... come on," he rubbed his fingers along her neck, as if it could simply will her back to life. _"Please."_

 

 

It was awkward, with her slumped forward in the cockpit and he kneeling outside in the snow, but he didn't care. He held her ... as close as he could, pulling himself over her shoulders and holding her close; if he couldn't be there for her in the end at least maybe this, this would be enough. His breath grew shaky at her stillness, the fight gone from her as he pressed his forehead to the chapped skin of her brow.

"Kay," he breathed, and tried to ignore the stillness of her chest. "Call for another evac shuttle."

* * *

Jyn hadn't stirred the whole ride back to base, despite what the medics had said. They worked at her sternum for a brief moment and he'd needed to look away, but after that, he could have kissed them, because the once droning sensors now flooded his senses with noise, beautiful, high-pitched noise that meant _she was alive_. He couldn't believe it, not with the durasteel rod jammed through her leg and the too-grey pallor of her skin. There were tubes within tubes and wires placed every which way on her that she looked more cybernetic than human, but she was, by some miracle, alive.

Once they'd landed on base, a second team met them and transferred her onto a grav-stretcher, speeding off for the medbay.

Cassian stood at the end of the ramp, dragging a hand down his face, before hurdling after them.

He couldn't stay in her room, not with the round-the-clock care the droids were giving her and the surgery she'd already gone in and out of. She was in quarantine, they said. A precaution. He half-listened to doctor's as they mentioned "internal bleeding", "septic shock" and "traumatic brain injury". All of it meant nothing, not as long as they didn't end their conversation with "...we're still working, we'll keep you updated Captain Andor."

He paced outside the room for what felt like hours, before Kaytoo dragged him away.

So he sat by Bodhi, still recovering from his own injuries, and they hoped.

Chirrut and Baze stopped by when they could, always with a kettle of tea and stories of Jedha to pass the time. Baze even brought over Cassian's unfinished knitting projects, thankfully saved from when he'd sped off in the hangar. Kaytoo came by to remind Cassian that he also needed sleep, though he simply threatened to power him down.

Life Day came and went, with little fanfare brought into the medbay. Cassian simply wrapped the unfinished scarf over Bodhi's shoulders, and continued knitting from the seat next to him as he slept.  There was still no update on Jyn, not even any frantic doctor's pacing the ward looking for other doctor's or specialists, and he was beginning to grow tired of being kept in the dark.

When a young, twi'lek nurse came into the room to change the dressing on Bodhi's forehead, Cassian finally spoke up.

"Do you have access to Sergeant Erso's status?"

"Erso?" She questioned, pulling back the bandage that covered a quarter of Bodhi's face. "And you are, Andor, correct?"

"Yes," he put the knitting down next to Bodhi's hand, quietly threading their fingers together as Bodhi whimpered.

"She is currently in bacta, and stable," she sprayed an anelgesic and flattened a fresh bacta patch over the wound. "She is out of the woods, for now."

"Oh, well uh---"

"Thank you," Bodhi answered for them both, rolling his head to smile at Cassian. "Thank you."

"She should be moved from quarantine once she is out, I can request that she is moved to this ward, if you like."

* * *

By the third day, Cassian finally coaxed out what had happened from Bodhi, purely by accident.

Jyn had been moved into the room next to them, just as the nurse had promised. When Bodhi saw them wheel her in he nearly tore the tubes out of his own arm to touch her, to make sure that it was all real, that they'd both survived. Cassian pushed him down by the shoulders, his hands sliding up to his cheeks as he reminded him to breathe. That everything was alright.

"She's alive, I promise," he repeated, "You did good out there."

"No ... n-no I didn't, it was my fault."

Cassian sat down in the chair next to him, threading his hand in his and squeezing.

Jyn was pale, the harsh lighting of the medbay casting deep shadows underneath her eyes, but Cassian forced himself to focus on the rise and fall of her chest. That was what mattered, after he'd seen her still and cold and lifeless. He turned back to Bodhi, sputtering out words in between coughs.

"We got caught, t-tried to escape. There was a uh, a snowstorm that sprung up on us. I lost control, the--- the ejection seats ... that was, it was---"

"It's alright, it's not your fault."

"It _is._ I didn't tell her, d-didn't show her how. She would never have been, should never have been--"

"Bodhi," he used his other hand to bring his chin to meet his eyes. "It's _not your fault._ "

Bodhi's eyes looked through Cassian, to the monitors against the other wall, to _her._

"Say it with me, Bodhi. _It's not my fault_."

He stared at Cassian's lips, mouthing the words alongside him but not sure his voice was strong enough to be heard.

Eventually Cassian sat back, both hands bringing a ball of fabric to lay over his shoulders. Bodhi looked up at him curiously.

"What is this for?"

Cassian swallowed, smoothing the scarf down before resuming his position between Jyn and Bodhi's cots.

"Life Day, I uh ... still need to finish the ends but---"

Bodhi looked up at him incredulously.

"You _made_ this? And you --- you wouldn't let _us_ get you anything?"

It was Cassian's turn to eye him curiously. "Like that stopped the both of you, right?"

Bodhi buried himself in the scarf to hide his blush.

* * *

Jyn woke to the sound of clicking, her arms tethered to the sheets surrounding her. Her instinct was to fight, but these didn't feel like restraints. Medicine, maybe. She breathed deep through her nose before opening her left eye.

The room was bright white, and all too familiar, even in her (she assumed) heavily medicated state. Hoth's medbay, of course.  

That didn't explain the clicking, though. Beeping, sure ... drones and whirring made sense as well but ... _clicking?_

She shut her left and slit open her right eye and found the source. Wooden sticks, fiddled in the hands of ... _Cassian?_

 _Where was Bodhi? She hadn't been with Cassian, how did she_ \---

What the _hell_ had they given her?

She screwed her eyes shut, suddenly overcome with too much stimulation. Her head throbbed, in time with a chunk of her leg. She bit back a yelp, her hand shooting to the spot on her leg seemingly on fire.

"Jyn?" She heard something clatter to the floor, then his hands wrapped around hers on her leg. "What's wrong?"

She couldn't respond, the pain lacing white hot between her leg and her heart. His voice kept coming closer, in and out of range, repeating her name over and over, with varied intensity until she garnered the strength to respond.

"Hurts," she whined, trying to slow her breaths through her teeth. "What the _kriff--_ -"

"Jyn, It's okay, you're okay ... let me, I can get some---"

"No, _no_ ," she gasped, clutching his fingers tight against her thigh. "It'll ... It's ---, just stay."

"Jyn, but---"

"Just _stay_ , please."

With that, she looked up at him huddled above him as her plea shattered him.

"Gods, Jyn," he still clutched at her leg, his other hand scrambling for the one tethered with tubes. "You're okay, you're alive, I --"

He stops and buries himself into the side of her shoulder, his own shoulders shivering between wild breaths.

"Yeah," she closed her eyes, turned her head to his ear, "Yeah, I am."

She counted her heartbeats, slowly stuttering to a more manageable pace before whispering, "Bodhi?"

Her voice was so faint, as if she was scared of the answer. "Fine, banged up but fine. He was released yesterday, you've been out a few days."

"Good," she shook her head, then stopped when that hurt too much. "Good for Bodhi, I mean."

He laughed and shifted the scarf strewn about her shoulders, placing his cheek against her bare shoulder.

It was then that she noticed the pile of fabric crumpled around her neck.

"What the," it was crimson, with strips of white throughout. A bit holey but, warm.

"For you," he looked up at her, swallowing hard before finishing. "Life Day."

She scoffed, both shocked and caught off guard.

"I didn't know you could knit."

"There's a ... a lot you don't know about me."

She thought for a moment, then leaned down so her voice was clear in his ear.

"Then let's ...remedy that?"

Cassian nodded furiously against her skin, warm and alive, because if he spoke now he's sure his voice would break.

Because she couldn't possibly know what she'd meant by saying that.

Couldn't possibly be open to the whole messiness that was his past and yet somehow, she was.

* * *

When Jyn woke next, in the middle of the night, her head lolled to the side. Cassian's hand hadn't left hers, but what she hadn't expected to see, was Bodhi strewn about Cassian's lap, the two both dead asleep in a position that would certainly result in some sore necks. A scarf suspiciously similar to hers was resting over Bodhi's shoulders, with Cassian sporting the new brown, furred parka she and Bodhi had managed to cobble together through spare fabric on base.

She laughed quietly at the fur-lined hood, where it pulled away at the seams because they hadn't had time to finish it.

It looked like that had been forgiven, though. She only wished she could have seen his face when Bodhi gave it to him.

She'd ask him in the morning, she decided, and then some; before letting sleep take her once more.


End file.
